Elise's Lesson The Internet Is For Porn
by Tikal14
Summary: Made this songfic over the Summer of '07 using the song from the popular musical Avenue Q, The Internet Is For Porn. Cast Eggman - Trekkie Monster; Elise - Kate Monster; Sonic - Princeton; Shadow - Rod; Silver - Brian; Tails - Gary Coleman.


Elise's Lesson (The Internet Is For Porn)

_**Elise's Lesson (The Internet Is For Porn)**_

A/N: Because Dr. Robotnik is played by Trekkie Monster his grammar is going to be poor just warning you now and I don't control what he says by the way these are lyrics straight from a song. Also, this fanfic was made in Summer of '07 so as you can see I was a "little" hesitant at uploading this.

Warning: Characters are obviously going to be a bit OOC if it's an Avenue Q song that is their dialogue so I'll try to keep them in character.

Disclaimer: I don't own Elise, Dr. Robotnik, Shadow, Silver, Tails and Sonic Sega does. I don't own the song 'The Internet Is for Porn' Avenue Q does.

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Elise was standing in the field where she and Sonic ran to after escaping the Egg Cerebus and Dusty Desert. She had a bright smile on her face because today was a special day. "Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself, and I'm going to teach something relevant, something modern, the internet ah!" She started walking towards Soleanna, the castle town to be exact and sang, "The internet is really, really great!"

Eggman saw her walking down the grass covered hill and decided to follow her with his robots. He shouted after Elise started singing, "For porn!"

Elise didn't seem to notice the unwelcome guest and continued singing, "I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait!" Eggman shouted after again with the same two words. Now Elise was finally aware, "What?!" but kept singing anyways. "There's always some new site!" It was obvious that Eggman wasn't going to give up following her because he repeated the two words again. "I browse all day and night!" Now the robots joined in Robotnik's merriment and chanted the two words with him. Elise groaned but still continued. "It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light!" Now shouting the words so anyone in the Kingdom Valley and White Acropolis could hear them, Elise finally turned around. "Dr. Robotnik!"

Too caught up in his fun, the robots and he started chanting, "The internet is for porn! The internet is for porn!" Eggman silenced the robots and said the last part. "Why you think the net was born? Porn, porn, porn!"

Elise, who is not normally one to feel the emotion of anger, just made her message out sternly. "Dr. Robotnik!"

Eggman looked down at her with his robots finally acting as if he acknowledged, "Oh, hello Princess of Soleanna!"

She still felt anger as she continued, "You are ruining my song!"

Robotnik gasped as he heard this news that was completely unaware to him. "Oh me sorry, me no mean to." He put his head down sulking.

Seeing that she hurt him, Elise lightened her tone. "Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?"

Egmman picked up as and shook it up and down. "Okie dokie!" The robots repeated after him.

Elise smiled and said, "Good!" Proceeding to walk towards the castle town again, Elise continued with her song. "I'm glad we have this new technology!" Obviously you can never teach Robotnik a lesson because there he was with his robots chanting the same two words. She groaned before singing again. "Which gives us untold opportunities!" Once again he was right there like always as if he couldn't help but said sorry after. "From your own desktop!" Managing to only get one word out because the robots blocked out the second for fear that her blue blur would come and destroy them. "You can research browse and shop!" Blocking out all of it, Robotonik only made a small fart this time. "Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop!" Blurting out the words so now if anyone who happened to be in a soundproof room would hear them, Elise turned around and this let the anger get the best of her. "DR. ROBOTNIK!"

Chanting the phrase again without the fear filled robots, Eggman continued. "The internet is for porn! The internet is for porn! Me up all night hogging me horn to porn, porn, porn!"

Elise looked at him with a disgusted face. "That's gross! You're a pervert."

Eggman only smiled as his robots did a laugh that he programmed into them. "Ah, sticks and stones Princess of Soleanna."

She sighed, "No really, you're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet." Elise stated as they arrived in the castle town. Eggman raised an eyebrow at her. "What?"

He chuckled and said, "You have no idea. Ready normal people?!" Shadow, Silver, Tails and Sonic came running towards Eggman and said ready as they approached him. "Let me hear it!"

They all chanted except for Sonic "The internet is for porn!"

Sonic looked guilty but couldn't his secret to himself. "Sorry Elise." The others said the phrase again before Sonic finished. "I masturbate."

Eggman butted in and said, "All these guys unzip their flies for porn, porn, porn!"

Elise shouted, "The internet is not for porn!" They continued to chant the word before she intervened. "Hold on a second!" Eggman looked at her with a confused look. "Now I happen to know for a fact that you Shadow, check your portfolios and trade stocks online."

Shadow gave her a smirk and said, "That's correct."

Continuing with explanation she looked at the gray hedgehog. "And you Silver buy things on Amazon dot com."

He looked up at her with his usual calm expression, "Sure."

Turning to face the young fox Elise said, "And Tails, you keep selling your possessions on eBay."

Tails smiled at her and replied, "Yes I do!"

Then she smiled sweetly at Sonic, "And Sonic, you sent me that sweet online birthday card."

The cobalt hedgehog gave her thumbs up, "True."

Dr. Robotnik smiled, "Oh but Elise, what you think he do after, hmm." The others started snickering as Sonic muttered yeah. Elise screamed as they all continued to repeat phrase they had used over so many time now. Eggman saw Elise getting ready to run but before she did he said, "Grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn!" It finally happened she broke out in a run towards her castle muttering things about the internet they couldn't hear and as they finished they made their little game into musical. "The internet is, the internet is, the internet is for porn!"

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A/N: Wow... this story is so messed up... Anyways, review if you want to. If you do please don't flame because flames will be used for baking brownies.


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